I feel my solo is gradually beginning to find its own direction within the masses and masses of the ideas that have formed around it. The idea I am currently working on is about trying to find and begin a relationship with my grandma and try and connect with the past life she has lived. I feel my piece is increasingly beginning to symbolise my longing for a relationship which has been denied to me because of her death.
The direction of my solo project has become more focused and this is partly is due to the productive weekend I had at home where I was able to focus on this vision that I am trying to establish. Over the weekend I considered purely projecting images of my grandmothers face simply on to a flat. However I felt this initial idea for my mise en scene did not particularly illustrate the themes such as presence and identity that I feel are becoming more prevalent in my piece. An idea that struck was to try and project the images of my grandmothers face into a mirror. The mirror I feel will will be symbolic for memory and mind and my own longing to share this connection with her that makes up my own identity.
When I was at home I experimented with a mini projector projecting images of my grandmother at first. It took a fair few attempts to position the projector in the right place to get the whole image of my grandmother in . At first I projected the images of my grandmother that I have selected on to the wall so I could see which images worked and which ones I needed to discard. The black and white images and the colour images I feel create a contrast between the strong sharpened memory and the grainy images that I cannot retain in my mind because they are not my memories. Once I got to grips with operating the projector I decided to take on the challenge of project images of my grandma into the mirror. It was tricky to project an actual image of her into a brown bevelled mirror at first and this was because I was trying to project images in daylight hours. The light itself seemed to block out the image.I persevered with using the projector and in early evening I tested out standing in front of a long wardrobe mirror which managed to capture my grandmothers face over mine. I still feel I need to experiment further with other mirrors to try and create this effect again.
My weekend at home I feel allowed me to further my own vision of how my solo piece will look. I concentrated on looking at costume. I decided that I wanted to dress similarly to my grandmother but not be a representation of her rather I dress like her to try and be connected and united with the images of the person I see her to be. I did have a browse in various high street stores but all the dresses that looked remotely 50's were too short or didn't feel right to me. I browsed online and for a lengthy five hours trawled Amazon and Ebay trying to find a dress or outfit that matched what I am trying to create. I found a company on amazon that reproduce 50's style dresses and I ordered five dresses that had some similarity to the clothes my grandma wore but they were definitely not exact replicas. The dress that I end up choosing will inform my vision because it reveals my longing and desire to be part of her world in 50's that I am absent from .
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