The apprehension I previously felt about my idea for my solo I felt disappeared throughout my tutorial as Nancy genuinely helped me see that my initial idea has a lot of promise because of the messages that I want to potentially convey in this piece. I want to potentially convey the sense of obsession and fascination that I have with my grandmother who I have never met because she forms part of my identity. This comes from a need to really understand what she was like as a person and as a woman.I want to potentially question is the image that I have of her been wholly constructed by my own imagination and is it really real ?
I showed Nancy my main source of inspiration for my initial idea which is a collection of photographs of my Grandma which were taken during the late 50's and early 60's. The pictures of my grandma Anne from those periods I feel are the images of her that I retain in my mind. I discussed with Nancy how I was interested in projecting these pictures of my grandma or even projecting the original slides during the performance to suggest how her image haunts my mind or it is something I am constantly drawn to. Nancy made the suggestion that I could project my grandma's image on to my face. This made me think of the idea of almost dressing myself as my grandma and becoming her. Nancy and I discussed this idea that I could slowly begin to become her as though I am trying to bring this image of her back to life.
Nancy recommended that I look at the Wooster group's production 'Rumstick Road' that chronicled the effects that Spalding Grey suffered after his mothers suicide. Nancy suggested I should particularly look at the use of projection within the piece of how they projected the images of a house on to the flats. Nancy suggested I perhaps could project an image of my grandmas house on to the flats. I did reflect on this idea after my tutorial and I thought that I could possibly create a roof shape with the flats and project images of my grandmas house on to them. The roof shape of the flats could convey how I am trying to construct this life for my Grandma that in my imagination she has had. I thought of another idea after my tutorial that I could use different types of furniture to construct a roof like shape or even a den. This could convey my own desire to carry on constructing this imaginary life for her which would show how I am trying to rebuild something which I have lost. I also feel on reflection it could be symbolic of my own sense of grief that I have lost part of this family.
Nancy encouraged me to look at the particular moments in 'Rumstick Road' where the performer Libby Howes performs a unique dance and another moment where she is shaking out a sheet. Nancy implied that I could perhaps use repeated gestures that are domestic such as shaking out a sheet . I considered that I could use a moment like this if I was using my idea of turning myself physically into my grandmother. Those domestic moments if I did go down that route could help to symbolise how I am trying to make this image in my head a real constructed character.
I explained to Nancy how my grandma Anne died from Hepatitis when she was in her early 50's . The hepatitis was believed to have been caught through either contaminated water or a blood transfusion. I thought the suddenness of her death and the tragedy it brought to her family could an interesting angle potentially for the audience in my performance. Nancy suggested to flesh out the performance I could look at the biological/medical issues that are directly a result of hepatitis or how hepatitis affects the body. Nancy suggested a very different idea that in my performance potentially to look at how I am genetically related and connected to my grandma through blood and cells. The suggestion Nancy made has left me extremely fascinated at the idea of perhaps in my solo exploring my biological relationship to her and then trying to create or find a relationship with her emotionally even though she is dead.
At the end of the tutorial Nancy advised me to consider Bobbi Baker's work if I was wanting to explore the idea in my solo of me becoming my grandmother. I am also going to research Spalding Grey;s work in 'Rumstick Road' to get further ideas of how I can project and use the images and also how I want to construct my performance about this relationship I long to have with my grandma. Nancy recommended that I read a book called 'The Genome' to see If I find any inspiration for possibly basing my work on my genetic relationship to my grandma.
Overall I found my tutorial with Nancy so helpful and reassuring because I feel my idea as a whole has expanded greatly and is is travelling in so many different directions that will help me to look at my relationship with her in a different light. My mind is filled with endless ideas of what direction I can take my solo in. I feel that once I have researched these peoples work I will have a clearer picture of how I want to perform my solo project and how I want to explore my relationship with my grandma. I am generally so excited to begin the research for my solo so I can begin to bring my piece to life.
In our afternoon session we spent the whole three hours exploring Soul-Steppin and creating soul steppin routines in groups. This time creating a soul-steppin routine was much easier and more manageable in a smaller group. We worked effectively as a group because we created simple moves that were easy to learn but also creating a fluid sequence of movement that worked well together. We managed to all stay closely together in a square formation throughout practising and performing the routine and this helped us create some sense of unity as a group. I did find it tricky when we first put music to the routine because my movement was out of the time with the music because I was concentrating on the actual beat we were creating. However my initial frustration with myself subsided after we practiced the routine several times with the music and I began to keep in time with the music and my group as well !!
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